You know that feeling when everything is going on so perfectly? When you feel like you've got the whole world in your hands? Well, thats the opposite of what is going on in this shithole. One thing falls apart and soon, everything is a mess. One thing fucks up your mind and then you start thinking why and how and who and what and you just dont focus on other shit around you. Every little thing becomes a problem, a neatral nothing when you're expecting something, just SOMETHING to make you happy again. But no. Nothing. By the end of the day, you gain nothing. No-thing. You lose everything you ever had a grip on.

I dont get it. Why did u have to repeat yourself? I heard it once, twice maybe. And now, thrice. Are you trying to rub in how fucking pathetic my social life is compared to yours??? Is that it? Coz if thats what you're trying to say, I dont need it. Coz I know its pathetic. I know there are few people I can trust, few people who understand me, few people who can withstand my difficult personality. Im sorry if I am naturally stubborn and difficult and I dont show my feelings as well as I want to. But thats just me. So if you think that you cant live with the silence that comes with my anger, confusion and sadness, then so be it. Coz Im tired of having to answer all the 'why's and in the end, my answers dont mean anything coz they arent good enough for you. Ignoring the problem doesnt help. But trying to talk it out with you doesnt work either. I give up.